"I hope you have a child just like you !"

My mother told me this once..or maybe it was more than once, oh well. And sometimes I hate her for it, cause she succeeded in her wishes (or curses perhaps)upon me. I apparently was a strong-willed stubborn child who gave her hell for the first several years of my life. But I ever grew out of it(or had it beat out of me) before I got to old to really be a nuisance in my teenage years.

I had my first child in Jan of 2007, he was born two months early for no known reason. THAT should have been my first clue! Every since then the child has been marching to the beat of his own drum and not giving a damn about what anyone else tells him he should do in the process. He has always been a very loving and sweet child but he as also always been very busy, very independent and very stubborn. There have been numerous amounts of time since I have become a mother that I have often pondered the wonderment that is loving someone so much while hating them all at the same time.

My lovably stubborn first born has been sort of potty trained for almost two months now. I say sort of because the child flat out REFUSES to tell me when he needs to go. And even when I tell him to go he gives me the typical toddler response of "No". And the damnable thing is I know that the child has got to go he just refuses to do "Simply" because I told him so.

Today I put him in his room for about 20 minutes so I could take a brief shower and when I come back out the boy has peed in his pants. AR-UGH! So then breaks out berserker mom who screams, yells, throws boy in bathroom and pops him. And I know I will suffer for it later when I make myself feel guilty for getting mad and being a "bad" mom. It was partially my fault for putting the gate on his door so he would not run around the house getting into things- I was cursed (or blessed) with a curiously smart child as well- or let himself out into the backyard. BUT he STILL could have said something like oh I don't know " Mommy Peepee!" or some such ilk. But No, god forbid he should stoop to the level of telling someone he needs something.

It is like this with every blasted thing! Eating, sleeping, playing, bodily functions! And to add to all this crap I have a nine month old that I am dealing with too. Fortunately for me she is of a sweet disposition currently and for the most part is a very happy baby, she just likes a lot of attention. Which is exhausting when added with the busyness of a three old.

So everyday is an adventure of how to make this stubborn child listen to me without destroying his independent spirit. SIGH.....

And of course the child now comes over to give me a kiss (blast the forgiving nature of young children)..ugh

At least I got a consolation prize from my mother this week. She told me basically that she admired me or in her words "I don't see how you do it everyday, I never would have been able to deal with two so close together!" You see she only stayed home with me until I was about 2 or so and my sister is seven years younger than I. So she never had to deal with that chaos that I do every day. So that is something I guess