Today we went to the pool.
The boy has been bugging the living hell out of me for days to go swimming or basically get out of the house. I did not go to the pool until today for one reason. The weather people told me it was going to rain. And I didn't want to go through the trouble of packing all the necessary things for a swimming trip with two kids only to get there and have to leave again due to thunder or whatnot. Well, what do you know, the weather people were wrong..again. I should have known this, the goobers can't even tell you when it is going to snow! ugh.
Anyways after two days of being trapped in the house with both kids because it was supposed to rain and it is too freaking hot (insert humid) to go outside, UNLESS you are at the pool, so I dragged my sleep deprived self and the kids to the pool.
Now normally the boy would immediately run into the pool (wading pool with a swimming float, FYI) and begin playing. Today he was a clutchy butt for the first hour. Totally abnormal behavior for my independent boy. And since I am in a foul mood already this annoys me. So I tell him go play, go down the slide, Get off my Leg! something, ANYTHING, just go away!
I did start off being nice but when you have a three old climbing on you like some sort of leech and 10 month old so eager to get out of her float and potentially drown herself it is stressful. So in the end I yelled at him to get off and go play.
That got the attention of the other moms. And so they began to watch me with my child.
I told him go down the slide (once again this is a baby pool). He gets out, waits in line, gets on, and sits there blocking the way. I tell him come on. He sits. I get up and close the 5 ft gap between us. Come on go down, I say. He sits there looking at me. Go down your blocking the slide, I yell. He continues to sit there. Grr, you stubborn boy, I say to him. So I step an inch away from the baby girl in her float, grab the boy by his foot and pull him down the slide. Promptly pull him out of the pool and sit him on the side for time out.
This whole thing earned me several looks of surprise and slight anger from the other moms. Who I must point out don't know me from Adam. None of them have the courage to say anything to me but grumble amongst their friends.
I eventually worked the boy out of his clutchy funk and he went back to his normal independent self.
But for the rest of the time I was watched. I wonder what these moms must think. That I am a bad mother because I dared to yell at my precious darling. Ugh, to me since they are moms too they should be giving me looks of sympathy and understanding. But apparently I am the only mom who goes through phases where I get angry at my kids. What a terrible person I am... bah.
I really and truly try very hard not to judge other moms so when they seem to judge me it makes me all the more angry. They don't have my child. And to be quite honest I have a very well behaved child. He may be stubborn and willful. I may have to raise my voice and be mean sounding but at least he listens (most of the time) and comes when I tell him to. Compared to these other kids that walk all over their moms.
Why should I be made to feel ashamed when I get angry with my child for misbehaving or being annoying? I am only human after all. These mothers that think that all moms should always love their kids and be patient and loving at all times disgust me. If that is they way they want to be then fine but don't dare try to cram me into your box of perfection. I deal with enough freakin' guilt on my own without their judgment.
Yes, I love my kids! I would give my life for them. If something where to happen to them I would probably want to lay down and die.
But that does not mean I am not tempted to give them away to gypsies at times or want to run off into the hills screaming some days. Some times I really don't like my children.
(Like when they stay up screaming "MOMMY" every 15 freaking minutes! Why won't he just go to bed, it is past 10:30! ARGH! )
I feel like it is okay to not like your kids at times. It makes one real and honest. In my opinion, the moms that say they love their children at all times either have the elusive truly easy going child or they are doped up. Or perhaps they just lie to make themselves feel better.
